


Like an Open Book

by truth_renowned



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 05:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14763824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_renowned/pseuds/truth_renowned
Summary: On a drive to the airport, Edwin Jarvis helps Peggy Carter work through a new adventure in her life.





	Like an Open Book

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ultra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/gifts).



> Much thanks to lillianmmalter for advice and beta-ing.

Peggy watched the scenery fly by as Mr. Jarvis drove down Figueroa Street, taking them farther away from Howard’s place. She marveled at the juxtaposition of industrial and nature, with the concrete roadway and the lines of palm trees on either side. 

She shook her head. Like Mr. Jarvis, the logic of palm trees escaped her. They certainly weren’t trees in the truest sense, since they provided no shade and one could not climb them without risking life and limb. Still, she was growing more and more fond of them, because they were in Los Angeles. 

As was the most compelling reason of all: the man who now was her fiancé.

She looked down at the ring, already feeling at home on her finger despite it being less than a week since Daniel put it there. The ring may have felt at home, but Peggy was… what was she? Apprehensive? Nervous? No, neither of those words explained what she felt about being engaged. She was excited but… Due to a sudden influx of cases, she and Daniel hadn’t had time to talk about anything but work in the last week. And with her traveling to Washington D.C. on a last-minute trip, they wouldn’t have time to talk for a while. 

Perhaps that was it, not having time to talk. Or that all of this was so new and hadn’t set in yet. Maybe one of those was the reason for the fluttering in the pit of her stomach ever since she’d said ‘yes’ to Daniel’s proposal.

It didn’t escape her that Mr. Jarvis kept stealing small glances at her as he drove. Given the engagement news she delivered to him and Ana just before they left Howard’s -- and only because when Ana noticed the ring, she squealed in delight and demanded the details -- it wasn’t surprising he wanted to say something. It was annoying, though. He might fancy himself a quasi-spy but he was doing a terrible job of being subtle.

“Thank you again, Mr. Jarvis. Daniel’s meeting ran too long to drive me.”

“I don’t mind at all, Miss Carter. I have to stop by Helms Bakery and the airport isn’t that far beyond it.” He flawlessly merged into traffic on the busier-than-normal Arroyo Seco Parkway, then snuck a peek at her. “So, your destination is Washington D.C.”

“Yes,” Peggy replied. “Chester Phillips contacted me about a new project. He says Howard is in on it, though no one has shared a single detail with me. I hope this isn’t a waste of my time.”

“Mr. Stark hasn’t said anything to me.” Another glance. “How long will you be there?”

“Not long, I hope.”

“Good.” Another glance. “I hear the weather is dreadfully cold there.”

“Good thing I packed my heavy coat, then,” she replied, his behavior even more grating.

“Yes, that is a good thing.” Another glance.

She kept a sigh to herself. “What’s on your mind, Mr. Jarvis?”

He slowed to a stop behind traffic. “So... you and the chief have made it official.”

She looked at him, then followed his gaze, which was focused on the ring on her finger, the same ring she hadn’t realized she was twirling around her finger with her thumb. When had she started doing that? She stopped immediately.

“Yes, well, the engagement. Yes. That’s official. As I mentioned to Ana, we haven’t set a date yet. Too soon for that.”

She flinched; why was she rambling like a nervous Nellie? It was just Mr. Jarvis, talking about her impending nuptials. 

_Impending._ That sounded more ominous than it should.

“I imagine your schedules will hinder that effort,” he said, his eyes back on the road as he pulled forward.

“Yes.”

How many times had she said ‘yes’? Far too many. She flinched again.

“Yes,” he mirrored. “Though… I sense there is something else.”

She opened her mouth to respond, then closed it. After a deep breath and slow exhale, she said, “There’s nothing else. We’re busy. Very busy. And likely will continue to be for the foreseeable future.”

“I’m sure you will, but there is a hesitation in your voice. Both now and when you told Ana and I.”

Peggy bristled. “Really, Mr. Jarvis? You know my voice that well? You think you can read me like a bloody book?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” he said calmly. “Though considering all we have been through, I would like to believe we are more than just acquaintances. Dare I say, friends?”

Her expression softened. “Of course we are friends. You and Ana are important to me.”

“And you are to us. So, as your friend, I have come to know that you hesitate when you are in a situation with which you are… uncomfortable, which does not happen often, at least that I have seen. I don’t believe my driving you to the airport would make you uncomfortable. Therefore, it must be the topic of conversation.”

“Sherlock Holmes would be impressed,” she replied acerbically.

“I’m not attacking you, Miss Carter. I promise you, I do mean well.”

She sighed. “I know you do. I’m sorry. It’s just that… I don’t know.”

“Are you getting cold feet?”

“I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head. “I never thought I would be in this situation. I'm not one-hundred percent certain I want to _be_ in this situation. No, that’s not right, either.” She sighed again. “I don’t know what I want.”

“Do you want to be married?”

“It’s not a matter of want,” she said, closing her eyes. She didn’t want to say the words but knew they needed to be voiced. “To be honest, I don’t know that I’m marriage material.”

She opened her eyes and looked at Mr. Jarvis, unsure if she was more confused or angry at his smirk.

“Miss Carter, marriage skills are not something one is born with, like intelligence or humor. Anyone can be marriage material. It just requires much work and some… well... retooling of your thought processes, so to speak.” He looked at her. “I don’t believe there is any question that you love Chief Sousa.”

“Of course I do.” And she meant it. She didn’t think after Steve that she could love another man, but Daniel changed all of that. She loved him, possibly more than she loved Steve. She could see a future with Daniel, children, growing old. But then, she might have had the same thoughts about Steve if she’d been given the chance... 

She then thought back to Michael. He’d been disappointed in her engagement to Fred. Would he approve of Daniel? Of course he would. Daniel was the exact opposite of Fred Wells. He looked danger in the face and challenged it. Fred hid behind his cushy job at the Home Office, ‘a boring life is a privilege’ his motto. Peggy silently admonished herself. What was it exactly that she had seen in him in the first place? No, Fred Wells was a non-issue. 

Michael had said she was destined to live a life of adventure, and by God, he was right. Daniel knew this to be true as well, saying more than once that her intelligence and courage were two of the things he loved most about her. She smiled; those were two of the things she loved most about him.

She loved Daniel, and he loved her. So why did she fear marriage more than she feared HYDRA, Leviathan and Zero Matter combined?

Mr. Jarvis’s voice snapped her out of her reverie. “Do you think there is something in your past holding you back?”

She hesitated, then shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him nod. 

“Perhaps,” he said after a lengthy pause, “you are afraid that something will happen to the chief if you are married.”

“Perhaps.” She then shook her head. “No, that’s not it, either. What we do is inherently dangerous. Even if I weren’t here, Daniel is the chief of the Los Angeles SSR. He insists on being in the field as well, which means he still would be in harm’s way.”

“Are you afraid of change?”

She looked at him sharply. “Change of what?”

“Change of the way you think, the way you live. When you love someone, marriage or not, you have to realize that your actions do not affect just you anymore.”

She chewed on her lower lip. “I am a bit selfish in that right, aren’t I?”

“We all are when it is only ourselves. Love changes you. For the better, I assure you. But it’s not all wine and roses. It takes much introspection and an honest willingness to compromise.”

“Compromise?”

“Very much so. Ana and I compromise all the time.”

“But your marriage is so effortless.”

He laughed. “Oh, Miss Carter, it is anything but effortless.”

“Surely what you two have been through has brought you closer together.”

“Indeed. It is true that hardship and heartache can bring people together, causing a bond to form, but that bond may not be enough. It takes work and compromise.” He smiled. “I do know that one of us in this vehicle isn’t adept at compromise.”

Peggy matched his smile. “I do know that about you, Mr. Jarvis.”

He glanced at her, eyebrow raised.

“I am well aware how strong-willed I am,” she continued. “It’s not that I don’t want to change. I don’t know that I _can_ change.”

“You already have.”

She looked at him, questioning. 

“I’ve noticed a… relaxation of sorts in your demeanor.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “The chief seems to have a calming effect on you.”

Now that she thought about it, he was right. Daniel did ground her in a way no one, man or woman, had been able to do. So what was it? Maybe it wasn’t the idea of marriage but of her being a wife. Peggy knew everything about her was the antithesis of the modern-day housewife. Even though she’d been willing to be a housewife to Fred, she knew now she would have been miserable.

Give her a megalomaniac intent on world domination and she knew exactly what to do. But being a wife in the truest sense of the word? That was a tall order, and she had no idea where to start. She wasn’t sure she wanted to do it. Or even could.

Was Daniel willing to have an unconventional marriage? Did he deserve better than that? She believed he did. However, was that what he wanted? She knew from the start that he was an unconventional man. Like Fred, Daniel could have hidden behind a cushy job, especially with his injury, yet he refused. His resolve and determination drove him to be a better man than Fred Wells ever could be.

Perhaps convention was something neither of them wanted. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that was true. Nothing about their relationship had been conventional, so why would their marriage?

The fluttering in her stomach finally started to subside. Not completely gone but not as insistent.

“Thank you, Mr. Jarvis.”

He looked at her, eyebrow raised. “For what?”

“For talking some sense into me.”

He chuckled. “The sense was always there, Miss Carter. It just needed some coaxing to come out. I truly believe you are marriage material. It will just take time and--”

“Compromise,” she finished for him. “You said that you and Ana frequently compromise. Do you mind me asking for an example?”

“Well…”

“No, forget I asked,” she said quickly, realizing her question was inappropriate.

“No, no. Just… please don’t tell her I told you.”

Now she was curious. “My lips are sealed.”

He paused, then said, “She snores like a buzz saw.”

Peggy let out a laugh. “Ana? She’s barely bigger than a bird. She couldn’t possibly snore that badly.”

“Oh yes she could, and she does. I could easily sleep elsewhere, given the myriad rooms in the mansion, but I stay in our room.” He glanced at Peggy. “It’s a small inconvenience to spend my evenings with the love of my life.” 

“And what has she had to compromise for you?”

“Her freedom.”

She looked at him, confused. “But you saved her.”

“From Hungary, yes, but there was a price to pay. What I owe Mr. Stark for his help getting her out of the country and me out of trouble keeps me here, at his side.”

“I have no doubt your debt has been paid by now. I think even Howard would agree.”

“He might, but in my mind, the debt is for life. Ana has agreed to stay. Believe me, it is a great compromise for her. It’s a guilt I carry with me. I want to give her a good life.”

“You have. You must believe that.”

He shrugged. “I do, but I have my moments.”

She paused, then ventured, “What if Ana asked you to leave Howard’s employ?”

“Then I suppose Mr. Stark would be left to his own devices. God help us all.” Off Peggy’s laugh, he added, “But I know she will not ask. She knows how important my staying is to me. That one compromise is far beyond any I have had to make.”

“Ana is a remarkable woman.”

“Yes, she is,” Mr. Jarvis said. “As are you. You deeply care about those you love, and you would protect them with your life. You have, on many occasions. You are a strong, caring woman, and as sure as I am sitting here, you will be a wonderful wife and mother.”

She was glad his eyes were on the road, as she felt a heat filling her cheeks. “I hope you’re right, Mr. Jarvis.”

“I know I am, but you still have important work to do, Miss Carter. And not just in saving the world.”

Peggy smiled. Perhaps Edwin Jarvis _could_ read her like a book. She found she didn’t mind it.


End file.
